My Hero Lester Young

The demise of Lester Young (Prez)

...he sheltered himself away from the world with a wall forged of empty bottles of gin and bourbon. Racism, the constant criticism of his sound and his music, his best friend’s death, and his traumatic experience in the military were painful memories that would haunt him throughout the remainder of his life, he had lost his ambition and whatever passion that he might of had for life had all but faded away. He entered his hotel room and sat down in front of the window overlooking Birdland, moving only to refill his glass, and to finger his imaginary sax, playing along to Frank Sinatra until his hands could no longer move. When the doctor arrived it was already too late, all he could do was confirm his death, and so, fifteen years after leaving Count Basie, Lester Willis Young died on March 15th 1959 of a cardiac arrest brought on by malnutrition and cirrhosis of the liver. A few months later, Lady Day followed suit.

newton's third law and personal responsibility

I was remembering today some photographers complaining about other photographers not paying their taxes. It's not fair to the rest of us they said, wah wah wah. This isn't what this is about, but it brings a few things to mind which I think I'll share right here.

Just about every step that we take in life has both a positive and a negative reaction, and it's up to us to put the pros and cons in a balance and determine if the possible reward is worth the possible price. Take taxes for instance, to pay or not to pay, pay it all or pay a little?

pros of paying ~ avoiding possible fines or even jail time, the satisfaction of knowing you played a small roll in maintaining both our physical and social infrastructure and the continued benefits one might get from those two entities, and in some cases (depending on ones upbringing and our prevalent cultural bias) the piece of mind of knowing you did the "right" thing.

cons of paying ~ a loss of income that might have been used for any number of things including higher wages to employees, advertising, equipment, or even a few more rocks and a new pipe.

and associated to each of these possible consequences (both pro and con) are its value to the individual in question and the likelihood of occurrence. What are the chances of getting a fine or jail time? What are the chances of receiving an audit that might lead to that? Is there a paper trail? How valuable is that income to that person? Will that money be necessary to avoid eviction or will it be spent on get rich quick schemes and other internet scams? Now the decision becomes personal and deeply subjective, and is not (I think) for others to judge. Instead one should think, "does this person's actions affect me or my loved ones?" If so, how? Are we just trying to find a "rational" excuse for judging someone based on our own socio-cultural biases?

The moral of this story? Don't judge, but always be ware of other peoples intentions, what might others have to gain by doing something that might harm you, what do they have to lose? How exactly will their decision affect me or my loved ones? Will I have to intervene to change the course of events? If so, what will be the consequences of my intervention?

To those of you who know me and might have ever wondered what makes me do the seemingly impulsive and irresponsible things I do, there was your answer. While it is true that I am a little impulsive (maybe even irrational at times) my decisions aren't always entirely so. When I joined the military in '96 at the age of 17 it was not impulsive, it was simply the best option I had amongst many lousy options. When 2.5 years later I got out of the military it was not completely impulsive, it was simply that the idea of getting a dishonorable discharge (and maybe doing a few months or even a year in the brig) was more appealing to me then spending 3.5 more years locked up inside an underwater, titanium prison, babysitting a bunch of nuclear warheads and waiting for the end of the world while sinking deeper into depression. More recently, the decision to leave a stable job with a decent wage to start my own business while still heavily in debted and without a dime to my name was not on impulse. It is simply that I would rather risk a financial catastrophe rather than spend my life trapped in a dead end job stressing out about things I should of cared less about. I'm happy now. I love what I do, and I have faith that I will sooner than later be able to carry my own financial weight. Who knows, in a few years I might actually be able to afford to pay my taxes : )

en el principio...

So here it is, Chavidas' much awaited much talked about blog. As my first act in bloggdom I figure I should probably provide a bit of an introduction. So here's a little somethin' somethin' about myself. Nothing long winded just a quick intro. I reside in san marcos, california and here are some pics of my current immediate family. The sleepy one's name is Bonita Bonita, and the black/white one is Chiquita Bonita.

See, well that was painless. I guess I'll smell ya later, don't hold your breath though, chances are I'll probably forget this blog exists. Yeah I don't exactly have the greatest attention span in the world.